He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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