This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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