I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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