I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
