Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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