3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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