I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
