Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
