I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
