id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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