i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
