Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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