I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
