I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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