A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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