Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is not my ceiling
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize