i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
