i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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