youre lurking in front of me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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