i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
