Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
