So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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