some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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