my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
