He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
