Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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