Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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