im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
