Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
