Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's shark week go big or go home
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
