I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
