hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
