don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
