Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
