The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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