What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
