He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
