Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
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