That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
