I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize