I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
