8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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