He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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