you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
