I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
