I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
