I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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