You can't motorboat a personality
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
