I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
