i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize