You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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