Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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