you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize