3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
